A woman has turned her experience of getting divorced twice by the age of 35 into a career – offering professional ‘coaching’ to other people facing marriage breakdowns.
Leah Marie Mazur was devastated to be facing life as a twice-divorced young woman but has since turned her experience into a learning lesson.
The now-41-year-old was first married from 2008 to 2014 but found she and her ex “weren’t compatible” before they split.
READ MORE: ‘Being a nanny put me off kids forever – trolls think I’m miserable but I love life with my dog’
- Advertisement -
By 2016, she had met and married her second husband, but again, things didn’t work out, and they divorced by early 2019.
Having two marriages break down by a young age gave Leah a “wake-up call” and she knew it was time to look inward and focus on “self-healing” before she sought love out again – something she now teaches her clients.
“The biggest misconceptions about divorce are that it means you’re selfish or a failure,” Leah, from Buffalo, New York, told What’s The Jam.
“That couldn’t be further from the truth.
“You are responsible for your own happiness.
- Advertisement -
“If your marriage is negatively affecting your well-being, you need to do something about it.
“It’s important to try to address your issues and concerns before giving up, which I did many times.
“But if you feel like you’ve done all you can and nothing is getting better, you need to walk away.”
- Advertisement -
For Leah, working on herself before dating post-divorce was pivotal.
She says her past traumas led to her entering unsuitable relationships, including the loss of her mother when she was just 16, and the loss of her father five years later.
She said: “I have no siblings and had to pick up the pieces by the time I was 21.
“Between these huge losses, I found myself in an abusive relationship that left me even more broken. I struggled with abandonment, low self-esteem, and had no idea who I was.”
After her first marriage broke down, she rushed back into dating.
Leah said: “Instead of taking the time to heal, I jumped into another relationship to distract myself from my failed marriage.
“Two years later, we broke up, and I was back on the dating apps, terrified of being alone and worried no one would want me with all my ‘baggage’.
“I met someone online, he moved in within three weeks, and we were engaged eight months later.
“It wasn’t enough time to get to know each other.
“I decided to leave.
“My second divorce was my wake-up call.
“I knew I needed to focus on myself and my healing.
“I started practising mindfulness, meditation, journaling, and cultivating self-awareness.
“This helped me understand why I settled in my marriages and made better choices moving forward.
“I learned to love and forgive myself and meet my own needs for the first time.”
Now sharing her experiences as a “divorce recovery coach”, Leah’s aim is to “help women heal and rebuild their self-esteem post-divorce”.
She said: “During Covid while working from home, I learned about life coaching.
“The more I learned, the more I knew this was my calling.
“I took online courses, got certified, and started my own coaching business, focusing on helping women through the divorce recovery process.
“I knew exactly what they were experiencing – the guilt, shame, feelings of failure, and loss of self-esteem.
“I wanted to share the tools I learned and the mistakes I made to help others find the light at the end of the tunnel.
“It gives me so much purpose and makes everything I’ve gone through feel worth it.”
And she has some choice advice for divorcees getting ready to enter the dating pool again.
She said: “I don’t believe there is an exact formula as to how much time you should wait before dating again, but I do believe it’s important to understand your intentions.
“Are you dating because you’re lonely, bored, need a self-esteem boost, or afraid of being alone?
“Those aren’t the right ingredients for building a strong foundation in a relationship.
“If you feel whole and happy on your own, and you’d like to date because you’re looking for someone who adds value to your life, that’s a great sign that you may be ready.”
Leah has since found love again and has been happily married since June 2021 to her husband, who has chosen not to be named.
She said: “I am now in the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been in because I took the time to focus on myself and heal my emotional wounds.
“I got to a place where I felt whole, happy, and fulfilled, and that’s when we met.
“I believe we date at the same level as our self-esteem.
“When you know your worth, love yourself, and know what you bring to the table, you’ll have higher standards, stronger dealbreakers, and attract healthier partners.
“It always starts with you.”
READ MORE: Woman, 22, compared to ‘real-life Avatar’ and ‘alien’ thanks to unique look
