A parenting expert and mother has revealed the top Christmas traditions she refuses to be a part of – from Elf on the Shelf to forcing kids to eat the usual roast dinner.
Kirsty Ketley says she is no Grinch, and loves the festive period, but she has a few firm no-no’s for the big day.
The 43-year-old also bans TV, and won’t participate in new-age traditions like Christmas Eve boxes.
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But she says not participating in those activities doesn’t make the holidays any less special in her household or for her two children, Ella, 11, and Leo, seven.
“People think I am the Grinch about it, but I’m actually more like Will Ferrell in Elf when it comes to Christmas – I love it,” Kirsty, from Surrey, told What’s The Jam.
“We have our own little traditions as a family – like having festive bedding and pyjamas – but we are sensible about not going overboard on it all.
“My kids aren’t interested in Elf on the Shelf – they both find the idea creepy and hate the idea of being watched over.
“And they don’t even know what a Christmas Eve box is.
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“If they asked for one, I wouldn’t give in.
“It’s an unnecessary pressure for parents.
“As the kids are getting bigger, we will be implementing a budget for them [for Christmas gifts], so they understand what presents they will realistically likely to get.
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“I think it is important that they understand that there isn’t a finite amount of money to spend.
“Parents shouldn’t be getting themselves into debt to keep up with their children’s demands – it’s good for kids to have a bit of perspective.”
One example that Kirsty thinks is overdoing comes in the form of Christmas Eve and December gift boxes – which she is firmly against.
She said: “Christmas Eve boxes, I have never really understood -–having to have very normal things put in a box for the sake of it, I don’t get!
“It is very en vogue to make boxes and baskets for every occasion now.
“In our house, Christmas pyjamas, which are often found in a Christmas Eve box, are worn from 1 December, to ensure maximum wear before they grow out of them.
“Having them on Christmas Eve to me is a waste of money and pointless.
“I understand having hot chocolate, reindeer food and a sweet treat on Christmas Eve, but why does it need to come in a box?
“It can be a tradition without being put in a box!
“It is the same with December boxes.
“I am not opposed to kids having Christmas crafts and colouring activities, pjs, bedding and all the Christmas trimmings – but does it all need to be in a box?”
Another new age tradition that the parenting expert opposes is Elf on the Shelf – a popular game parents play with kids throughout the month.
Kirsty said: “I hate Elf on the Shelf.
“It is one extra thing to think about during what is already the busiest time of the year for parents.
“Within a week, you see parents mentioning that they have forgotten to move the thing and they wish they didn’t do it – which proves the point that it isn’t a viable trend for most.
“Plus, they look creepy.
“And the threat that any bad behaviour will be reported back to Santa and he will then not come, is not only harsh but is simply not true – which parent will actually go along with that threat?
“I know many parents don’t use the elf for that reason these days, they see it more as a fun thing to do, but if you are not creative enough, or you forget, then what’s fun about it? “Often, I think it is done as a way of gathering likes on social media.”
Rather controversially, Kirsty also doesn’t believe in insisting that children eat the traditional roast on the big day.
She said: “If a child doesn’t eat roast dinner any other time of the year, they are unlikely to eat it on Christmas Day.
“I don’t see the point in forcing a child to eat anything they don’t like, and on Christmas Day, you want the day to be a happy occasion, so I feel it is best to give your child something that they will eat.
“If that is nuggets or fish fingers and chips or cheesy pasta, so be it.
“You can, however, encourage your child to try elements of the dinner, but served up alongside the meal they will eat.
“Having a ‘serve yourself’ option is helpful as the control is given to the child and means they are more likely to give things a try, without the pressure and keep offering those foods throughout the year, so they become familiar.
“This is how my children have come to enjoy Christmas dinner. Although to be fair, they still don’t like sprouts, however, they are cooked.
“Sometimes it just comes down to individual tastes.”
Interestingly, from speaking with other parents that she works with, Kirsty said many reported not bothering with serving a Christmas dinner at all.
She added: “Maybe the times are changing.
“My kids are foodies and enjoy most of it.
“If my kids said they didn’t want roast turkey and all the trimmings, I’d be a bit disappointed because I love it, but I wouldn’t make a fuss.
“At the end of the day, it’s Christmas – who wants tears and tantrums?
For me, it’s a day where I don’t really parent – they wake up and eat chocolate for breakfast.
It’s Christmas Day – it doesn’t matter.”
On the day itself, television and online gaming are off limits too, in lieu of spending quality time together as a family.
Finally, Kirsty says she doesn’t care about making her Christmas décor look Instagram-worthy.
She explained: “I love letting my kids decorate the tree.
“Yes, it may not always look aesthetically pleasing, but I love how happy and proud they feel afterwards and they remember each year, where they like to hang certain baubles.
“We also go for full-on colour, no white, Kim K-style décor.
“It’s full of colour and sparkle.”
