A mum has revealed what it is really like raising ‘Irish twins’ after her youngest son was conceived when his older brother was just three months old.
Jay Antonia gave birth to her second son, Albie, just 11 months and 15 days after welcoming her first son, Teddy.
The 27-year-old admits she and partner Joshua, 26, were “slightly freaking out” when they discovered they were expecting again so soon – despite always liking the idea of their children having a small age gap.
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“My period was late but I didn’t feel like I was pregnant – we just jokingly got a test with the food shop,” Jay, who works in childcare, from Portsmouth, told What’s The Jam.
“Josh was watching me to take it while casually munching on a apple and when it said positive he nearly choked.”
The pair had welcomed their first child shortly before and were settling into family life when they got the bombshell news.
However, they admit they hadn’t tried to prevent a pregnancy so soon after the first.
Jay said: “Josh was always keen on having a small age gap if we were to have another baby after Ted.
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“He wanted them to grow close together as his sister is five years younger and he thought that was too big of a gap.
“I was apprehensive slightly on doing it all again so soon, it was kind of a see what happens thing.
“I only had two periods after having Ted and when the second one came we both felt a bit disappointed, and then I was pregnant again.
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“So it was somewhat planned and somewhat go with the flow.
“When the test actually came back positive we were happy but also slightly freaking out, we didn’t think it would actually happen so soon which was probably very naive of us.
“His mum and dad both somehow sensed it when they next saw him.
“His dad said at a game of football ‘Jay is pregnant again isn’t she’.
“My mum and stepdad came around and at first I didn’t want to say until we had our reassurance scan but I ended up blurting it out.
“My mum got all emotional but everyone was happy .
“After a few days and it had sunk in, we were OK.”
Jay says she was concerned about how her body would cope with another pregnancy so soon after giving birth, while also worrying about Teddy suddenly no longer being the baby.
Luckily, Jay didn’t suffer any morning sickness while pregnant with Albie and raising a newborn.
She said: “With both boys I managed to luckily not have much actual sickness at all but the nausea with Albie was bad in the evenings and I was so tired.
“Josh became Cinderella for a bit and had to do a lot as I was just completely exhausted.
“When we went in to have Albie, Ted spent a few days with Josh’s parents, Josh has always been quite hands on so I was able to recover well at home.
“I was apprehensive about Albie’s birth as I didn’t have a great time with Ted but I was determined to have my dream birth – using only gas and air if needed, hypnobirthing birth, a TENs machine, a pool and to be in and out the same day.
“I got all of that and although it was extremely painful, it was amazing and so was my recovery.
“No doctors or midwives raised any concerns regarding them being so close together but lots were surprised when they found out, understandably.
“We did have lots of comments about going some kind of contraception after having Albie, which I refused.
“I understood why midwives and doctors told me to go onto contraception but it annoyed me that no matter how many times I’ve said no, for my own personal views, it’s still asked.”
Now Teddy, two, and Albie, one, are “best friends”, with the brothers already sharing kisses, cuddles, meals and naps.
Jay said: “Teddy was too young to understand really what was going on when he met Albie but was smiling and trying to touch his head.
“They are definitely best friends.
“Ted is so loving towards him most of the time.
“He gives him lots of kisses and cuddles and asks if he’s ok if he’s crying.
“Albie finds Ted so funny.
“They are both such characters and I’m so glad I gave them each other.”
But Jay says life with two children so close in age has also brought plenty of hectic moments.
She said: “Life now can be chaotic at times with two very young boys but they are both pretty much full time in childcare, and I’m back at work so we’ve got a nice routine which makes life easier.
“Their routines are pretty much the same when at home.
“They eat together, nap at similar times and bed times are the same although Albie likes to stay awake until nine some nights.
“The only difference is that Ted spends a night at his nans on a Sunday and she has him for the day on a Monday, which we’ve done since we had Albie.
“One of the hardest parts in the beginning was nap times.
“Ted used to really, and sometimes still does, need help with getting to sleep by bouncing on a yoga ball.
“I remember one day when Albie must’ve only been three months old and I was trying to get Ted to sleep while Albie was downstairs.
“Ted was being quite stubborn and taking a long time and I could hear Albie getting upset.
“I couldn’t ignore him obviously so I left Ted awake in his cot and went to check on Albie to settle him.
“Ted was then screaming so I went back to him and then Albie was crying again.
“I was just running up the stairs like a mad woman not knowing what to do.
“In the end I think I just gave up and went for a walk with them.
“Although there are challenging times of course, I’ve been surprised with how well we’ve all managed.
“It’s not as hard as I thought it could’ve been although that could all change next year when I have a two and three year old.”
Joshua usually settles Teddy in the evenings while Jay looks after Albie, who is still breastfed, with the couple helping each other whenever they can.
Despite the chaos, Jay says the boys’ relationship makes everything worthwhile.
She added: “Although they are brothers and best friends, they do have a few different traits.
“They are both cheeky and love to dance but Ted is definitely a lot more silly than Albie, he’s always been a little whirlwind and noisy.
“We call him a silly goose.
“Albie is a lot more emotional than Ted but he can also be a lot more chill.
“He doesn’t usually run around the house screeching like Ted does.
“I hope they grow up to be good friends as well as brothers.
“I hope they find comfort in one another and go to each other if they feel they couldn’t come to me or Josh.
“I think if anyone was thinking of having a small age gap and you think your body can cope then do it.
“I’m so glad we have, they are so cute together and if you have the same gender like me then you probably won’t need to buy much stuff which is a winner.
“Although there are hard days, I would still do it again.
“It was worth it, they love each other so much and I couldn’t imagine Albie not being here with us all.
“It’s the hardest but best thing ever.
“I’d like more children in the future, my heart doesn’t feel done.
“I look at Albie and I can’t imagine him being my last baby.
“I’d love a little girl.”
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