A mum-of-two has revealed how she parents her two teenage sons with some controversial rules that don’t always go down well with other parents.
Lyndsey Stamper isn’t afraid to ruffle a few feathers.
The 48-year-old teacher shares two sons Hank, 18, and Harley, 15, with husband James, 46, who she has been married to for 20 years.
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The family have recently gone viral on TikTok (@lyndseystamper1 ), as the mum-of-two outlines three of her top rules that rub people up the wrong way.
She shares her rules across a number of vids but one has 64.9k views.
“I believe that most kids thrive with structure and expectations,” Lyndsey told What’s The Jam.
“Gentle parenting might work for others but it is not for me.
“Some people think some of my rules are ‘too much’ or ‘too controlling’.
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“I am not here to be my sons’ friend and keep them happy.
“I am here to teach them how to be successful and productive citizens.
“That comes with rules, expectations and consequences.”
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RULE NO 1: LOCATION, LOCATION, LOCATION
The mum says her boys must share their Locations with her and husband James at all times.
But they are not allowed to share Locations with friends online.
She said: “We ask that the boys keep their Locations on at all times for safety reasons, that is what it comes down to.
“Unless they give us a reason to do this, I do not make a habit of checking up on them.
“The boys can also ‘use’ this as a reason to not do things they aren’t supposed to.
“It takes peer pressure off when they can always say that ‘my mom has my Location so I need to be where I say I am’.
“That might seem silly but the power of that can be huge!
“This is controversial because lots of kids share their Locations with friends or significant others.
“We don’t think that is a healthy way to live.
“That sense of ‘control’ from outside the home is not needed at this age!”
RULE NO 2: CAR RIDES ARE FOR CONVERSATION, NOT PHONES
Lyndsey’s second rule? No phones in the car.
Instead, she insists her children learn good social graces and have conversations while in the vehicle.
Swearing is also a big no-no.
She said: ““I think it is rude to sit in the car and look at your phone while I drive you somewhere.
“I am not your chauffeur.
“Some of my best conversations with my kids come from our car rides.
“So many children these days don’t know how to talk with an adult or with a peer.
“This rule goes for them when they ride with others, too.
“I expect them to talk to the people in the car.
“We want the boys to be able to express themselves in a way that is acceptable to everyone.
“People argue that they can learn bad words regardless or that curse words were made for a reason.
“My husband and I were not raised that way and we are choosing not to raise our kids that way.
“The same rules apply when we are out at dinner with friends.
“Other boys will sit, not talk and spend the whole time on their phones – except mine.
“They are not allowed to get their phones out in that situation.”
RULE NO 3: NO COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE CHORE LIST
Lyndsey doesn’t just want her boys to pay attention in the car or at dinner.
She expects them to help around the house without any complaints, as well as be polite at all times.
She said: “ Their rooms are their spaces and I don’t get on them about the mess in there.
“But I do want it to be hygienic.
“I don’t want mice, mould or stench in there!
“By the time they leave my home, my kids will know how to cook, clean, work in the yard and care for pets.
“There is nothing off-limits.
“They have been doing chores since they were able to walk so it is nothing new to them.
“They don’t complain.
“I believe that as long as the child has self-worth and feels loved, that helping others, putting others before themselves or respecting everyone only makes them better humans.
Social media users have been left divided over the mum’s rules, with many taking to the comment section to share their thoughts.
“You have too many expectations,” said one user.
Payton commented: “18!! No no no once your kid is that age this is just controlling. You can still have expectations and expect them to do certain things but this is crazy.”
“The manners are good but the rest is way too much to expect from a teenage boy,” said another user.
Others were onboard with the rules.
Amy said: “YES!!! YES!! YES!!! Kids and teens need more of these expectations!!
Jenna said: “Yep you’re their parent not their friend. Raising responsible and respectful kiddos.”
Another user added: “As a teacher, I think you are raising great young men.”
Weighing in on the reaction online, Lyndsey added:
“I have gotten lots of comments about me not trusting them to make their own decisions.
“My answer to that? They are kids!
“They need guidance, support and love to get them through these rough years.
“I have a great relationship with my kids and spend a lot of time with them.
“Our rules have given them a solid base of core values that will follow them for a long time.”
