A parenting coach has revealed the key reasons parents are struggling to potty train their little ones – and her foolproof tips on how to overcome it.
Specialist Kirsty Ketley has previously made headlines for revealing the worst parenting tips and myths that we should avoid.
Now, the 43-year-old has turned her focus to the dread issue of toilet training.
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“There’s a lot of conflicting advice out there on potty training and it can be overwhelming to know which approach to take,” Kirsty, from Surrey, told What’s The Jam.
“But potty training shouldn’t be hard and ultimately, you have to do what suits your child best.
“There are a few reasons why children are not toilet trained, particularly before starting school.
“Being too child-led is one of those reasons.
“It’s right to wait until your child is definitely ready to potty train, but some parents miss the cues and leave it too late.
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“Similarly, starting too early can be detrimental.
“Some parents try potty training because their child is a certain age, or because they are feeling pressure to get their child out of nappies.
“However, because their child wasn’t ready, it hasn’t happened and has led to their child being unconfident to try again when they are ready.
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“Equally, if your child is not independent in other areas, such as trying to dress or feed themselves, they are unlikely to potty train and they will lack the confidence to do so.”
Developmental delays can also contribute to not being able to potty train at a similar time to their peers.
For the current Reception classes, Kirsty believes we are still feeling the effects of lockdown.
She said: “These children missed out on vital interactions with others at a crucial time in their development, which has led to some struggling socially and emotionally – which can impact things like potty training.
“There have also been huge waiting lists for services, such as speech and language therapy, which, while potty training can still happen, has made it harder for parents to find ways for their child to communicate their needs and has led those children to feel unconfident and frustrated.”
Luckily, Kirsty is on hand to share her top tips to ensure a smoother transition from nappies to toilets.
She said: “Essentially, unless a child has a medical condition or developmental delay, by age four they will definitely be physically ready to potty train and the issue if they are not, will be more a psychological/ emotional one.
“If your child is starting school in the next year and you think they are showing no signs of getting out of nappies, have a look at their overall development and see if there could be a reason why.
“Check how confident and capable they are doing other things independently and work on those skills – eating independently, attempting to get dressed, and brushing teeth, for instance.
“Independence breeds self-confidence and builds good self-esteem, so your child will have a ‘can do’ rather than ‘can’t do’ attitude towards potty training.”
Kirsty says the main signs to look out for are: dry nappies for longer periods of time, recognising when they need to go or when they have been, requesting privacy when they need to go, and doing the classic ‘wee wee dance’.
The parenting coach added: “Expect ‘accidents’ – they are all part of the process and shouldn’t be frowned upon.
“Don’t make a fuss and instead gently remind your child that it is OK and what they should try to do instead.
“To begin with, expect up to 7-8 accidents a day, then after day three, these should reduce and I would only revert back to nappies if they are having lots of accidents still by day five, revisiting six weeks later.”
Kirsty also recommends utilising rewards charts for older, more resistant children, and says it is key to ditch the nappies for pants when toilet training to avoid confusion and allow the child to learn the feeling of wetness.
Finally, she added: “Don’t stop doing things because you are potty training.
“This will make your child feel like it’s a punishment, so keep your routine, pack plenty of spare clothes and make sure there is always somewhere you can go to use the toilet.”
