A woman is sharing her pregnancy and parenting journey after deciding to become a single mum in her 40s using a sperm donor – costing her £10,000.
Kaye Farleigh had always dreamed about having a baby of her own.
As she was approaching 40, though, and with no long-term partner, she accepted this would likely never come true.
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Working as a primary school teacher, and watching all her friends and family have children, she quickly spiralled into depression.
But then, two of her friends suggested going about it alone and using a sperm donor – which is exactly what Kaye did – giving birth to her bundle of joy, Oscar, now seven months old, without a man.
“Every time one of my friends fell pregnant, I felt a pang of longing,” the 42-year-old told What’s The Jam.
“The plan had always been to meet a man, settle down and start a family.
“But things hadn’t worked out that way and by the time I was in my mid-30s, I still hadn’t met ‘the one’.
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“My sister, Lauren, had just given birth to twins – one boy and one girl – and while I was overjoyed, I couldn’t help but wonder when it would be my turn.
“My hopes of becoming a mum were dwindling and I was grieving a life I didn’t have.
“So I hatched a plan, as with my biological clock ticking, there was no time to waste.”
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Kaye, from Lake Macquarie, Australia, signed up with a fertility clinic in October 2022 and chose a donor who had a good genetic history and felt like a good match.
In total, it cost $20,000 (AUD) (£10,000) for the entire process – without a guarantee.
While she didn’t have many eggs, and was told it’d be lucky if even just one was viable, she still went ahead.
Five days later, eight eggs were retrieved and fertilised, with only one placed inside.
After one week, she had a positive pregnancy test.
She said: “My hormones were all over the place.
“I kept going from excited to terrified in the space of a few minutes.
“I burst into tears when the clinic confirmed I was pregnant.
“When I heard my baby’s heartbeat for the first time, it made it all the more real.”
Although her dream was finally coming true, Kaye suffered with constant nausea and morning sickness, where her pregnancy was deemed high-risk.
As a result, she was induced at 39 weeks, and welcomed Oscar in December 2023.
Now, while she’s parenting alone, the new mum has had help from her family and friends.
And because of Oscar, she’s no longer looking for a man.
She said: “He’s the only man I will ever need in life.
“From the minute I laid my eyes on him, I was filled with so much love.
“Everyone around me has been so amazing – and with friends like them, who needs a husband?
“I’m so thankful to finally have a baby of my own.
“Part of me wishes I had done this earlier, but being an older mum means I’m more financially stable.
“And I have so much more patience than I did in my 20s.
“I’m glad I didn’t put it off, as there’s no time limit or relationship restriction on starting your own family.
“If it feels right, go for it; and don’t let anything stand in your way.”
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