A mum who claims people branded her “selfish” for having children due to her disability has had the last laugh – after booking the entire summer off of work to spend time with her kids.
Amelia Peckham was cruelly told it wasn’t fair for her to become a parent, after being left with permanent injuries from an accident in her teens that make walking properly challenging.
But despite the assumptions, the 39-year-old has gone on to have two children – seven-year-old Rufus and five-year-old Ralph – and insists her physical limitations don’t affect her parenting.
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In fact, with the summer holidays in full swing, Amelia has made the choice to stop working in order to spend time with her little ones.
She’ll also be saving an estimated £3,420 from not paying for school holiday clubs.
“I want to spend time with my children while they still want to spend time with me,” Amelia, who is CEO of Cool Crutches and Walking Sticks, and is based in Harrogate, told What’s The Jam.
“They’re at an age where they’re having so much fun, and they’re fun to be around.
“That window isn’t open forever, and I want to make the most of it.
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“More than anything, I want my children to remember this summer as a time when I was truly with them – happy, present, and full of love.
“That’s not selfish – that’s the point.
“It makes me so happy to commit this time [to my children] despite what people said – I was plagued by what people thought and said about my disability for over a decade.
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“From being lucky to have found my husband, to being selfish for having children, it was a constant worry.”
And Amelia is putting her good parenting into action fully over the six-week holidays, stepping back from her role at the company she created – inspired by her own struggles with walking – and enjoying uninterrupted time with her sons.
It’s something that she says won’t affect her business, as she has “invested in systems and people”, so the company isn’t dependent on her being around.
She added: “Taking time off doesn’t mean I’m slacking – it means I’ve built a business that works.
“We glorify burnout as ambition – but what’s more ambitious than building a business that thrives without you, so you can actually live your life?”
Amelia also feels that her physical struggles have even better equipped her for parenthood.
She said, “People have told me I’m selfish for having children with a disability.
“But my disability has given me a greater awareness of my health, my time, and what matters.
“Being a disabled parent doesn’t make me less capable – if anything, it’s made me more present and a logistical master.
“From day one, I’ve had to anticipate every challenge and prepare for the worst so we can enjoy the best.
“I’ve been called selfish for having children and selfish for stepping back to raise them – maybe the problem isn’t with me, but with a society that still can’t picture disabled women as good mothers.
“I would be lying if I said it doesn’t creep into my head often that people have previously stated I’m selfish.
“I know my health fluctuates and my fatigue in particular means I can’t physically do as much as other mums, but I also know my body, my health and how to pace – most of the time – to keep myself well.
“People often say happy mum, happy baby, and I think ironically having a disability means you’re more aware of your health and happiness, which makes it more of a priority.
“This, in turn, protects your time with your children and as a mum.
“Don’t get me wrong, I still have days and weeks when I’m unwell and feel awful, both physically but also mentally, as I’m not able to spend as much time with my kids.
“But do they suffer because of it? Absolutely not.”
She also has the support of her husband, Andrew, who she says is “incredibly proactive”.
Amelia added, “We have very balanced roles as parents with both of us able to do everything.
“I’m not sure many of my friends can say the same, and that, for me, will always be the best we as parents can give our children.”
Of their upcoming summer together, Amelia said she is “proud” to have realised that other opinions don’t matter – as long as the family unit is together.
She added: “At the end of the day, I know I’ve done my best and my children will benefit enormously that I see the value of health and happiness.
“For that, I will always be grateful to my disability and all it’s given me.”
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