Man goes viral revealing how he has sex with colostomy bag to tackle stigma

A man has been praised online for tackling a taboo topic – going viral after revealing how he has sex with his colostomy bag.

Ryan Tombling, from Darlington, has Crohn’s disease, having struggled with painful symptoms for years and, in 2020, underwent surgery.

Although the 23-year-old “never” wanted the bag, he says it’s now “the best thing” that could have happened to him.

And Ryan, who started a TikTok account after the operation, is now on a mission to educate people on everything, from working out to having sex with a colostomy bag – and to help others in similar positions.

He now has almost 13,000 followers (@thebigbagman) with a recent clip racking up over 565,000 views and 27,400 likes.

“I share my videos in hopes that more people in similar positions will start to accept their colostomy bags,” Ryan, a lifeguard and gym instructor, told NeedToKnow.co.uk.

“It has genuinely saved my life and given me an almost normal life back.

“I didn’t like it at first, but I don’t think anyone will as it’s such a change to your body, but it really has grown on me and become something I have accepted, and enjoy having a laugh with now.”

For Ryan, it’s not been an easy road to accepting that he needed the bag, with the young man putting it off for a long time.

He said: “I never wanted to get the bag, and would say I’d never do it because I had never seen anyone with one before.

“[By 2020], I couldn’t even leave my bedroom to go to the corner shop, not without soiling my pants.

“It was turning me from a happy young lad into a completely different person.

“My Crohn’s got to a state where no treatment was working, and I was progressively getting worse and worse to the point where it was life or death.”

On his TikTok channel, Ryan talks about what it’s like to do everyday tasks with a colostomy bag – from hitting the gym to going on dates – having been praised for his candid approach.

He said: “With the bag, we have no control over when we pass things, so I can be having a poo while carrying out daily activities.

“I can be in the gym deadlifting while having a poo, or kissing a girl [while] pooing at the same time so it is a strange concept to get used to, but it’s all about getting used to it.

“Little did I know, the bag would be the best thing to happen to me.”

Ryan, who was initially concerned about how having the bag would impact his love life, says it hasn’t changed much at all.

He said: “I got the operation as a young, single lad, so getting the bag was a huge scare to me, and one of the main reasons I didn’t want it was because I thought I wouldn’t be able to date girls anymore.

“However, I’ve now learnt that no one honestly even cares about it, and if someone wants to see you, a little bag on your stomach isn’t all of a sudden going to change their minds.

“The bag has not impacted the physical side of a relationship much at all.

“I can also poo while I’m having sex, which is quite a cool flex.”

In a TikTok, captioned: “Does having a bag affect you having sex?”, Ryan can be seen lifting weights and flexing while the bag is attached to his stomach.

He then says in a voiceover: “Yes it does because I can poo and have sex at the same time.

“Who else can do that? It’s class.”

TikTok users are coming out in droves to support the trainer.

Jessie said: “That is not what I was expecting, but that’s brilliant.”

Someone else added: “I am a gay male, we also sometimes do this.”

Emarie joked: “I can also but I never get a text back after.”

Tyson said: “There’s nothing more sexier than a person comfortable and confident in their own skin!!!”

“Not everyone can say that I suppose,” commented Natasha.

“Love your confidence. Wish I was more confident with mine,” wrote Ronnie.

Ryan hopes to continue his work on TikTok to spread awareness for Crohn’s, as well as helping people in similar positions.

He added: “The operation itself is such a scary operation, as you think of all of the negatives of having a bag of poo on you for the rest of your life.

“But having it actually gives so many people their life back, hence why I think it’s so important to spread awareness about it and normalise having one, especially for children growing up with them.

“In the future, I hope to start up my own company soon to help other people living with colostomy bags, with 10% of profits going towards the Crohn’s and Colitis charity.”