Sleepovers, solo shopping trips and later nights with their mates – Britain’s youngsters have opened up about the little milestones that finally make them feel like they’re growing up.
Fresh research, commissioned by TUI and backed by telly favourite and mum-of-one Josie Gibson, has found that trust and confidence from parents are the real foundations of childhood independence.
According to the UK’s first-ever Childhood Independence Index, released today (7 July), more than four in 10 kids (41%) say being trusted by their parents is what makes them feel independent, while 36% link that feeling to confidence.
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Drawing on a survey of 1,000 UK parents and 1,000 children aged 10 to 15, the Index digs into the moments that make youngsters feel truly grown up, the ages they reckon they should first be trusted with them, and the emotions those milestones stir up in mum and dad.
Far from one big turning point, the study suggests growing up is stitched together from dozens of tiny firsts – buying something on their own, walking to school, spending pocket money or their first night away at a friend’s house.
For parents, though, the penny often drops in a single, heart-tugging moment when they realise their little one doesn’t need them quite so much anymore.
Keen to dig deeper, Josie teamed up with TUI to run a lively focus group with children aged four to eight, quizzing them on what makes them feel like “big kids” and the things they’re itching to do solo.
Their answers – captured on camera – lined up neatly with the survey, with trust cropping up as the golden thread running through both.
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One little lad proudly announced he was planning to plough his pocket money into Premium Bonds, another insisted riding a horse made him feel grown up because “it didn’t even need fuel”, while others reeled off learning to swim, riding a bike, ordering their own dinner and spending their own cash as the moments they finally felt like “big kids”.
The Childhood Independence Index also ranked some of childhood’s biggest rites of passage, asking older kids when they thought youngsters should first be trusted with each one.
Wandering around a holiday resort alone came out as the earliest, with children saying they feel ready from around seven. A first sleepover at a friend’s followed at eight, and staying out later with pals at nine.
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Ten emerged as a real milestone year, with kids saying they felt ready to travel short distances solo, walk to school, pop into a shop on their own, spend their pocket money and get their very first mobile.
Hearing the children’s tales, Josie, mum to seven-year-old Reggie, was “left in stitches”.
“They all had completely different ideas about what made them feel grown, up,” said the 41-year-old This Morning presenter.
“Some were excited about ordering their own food, others just loved being trusted to do things on their own, and one savvy seven-year-old was already talking about investing in Premium Bonds.
“I thought, blimey – good on him!
“It was hilarious, but underneath it, they were all saying the same thing – they just want to be trusted and given a little more independence.”
Like Josie, plenty of parents described the shift as a bittersweet blend of pride, excitement and a pang of sadness.
One said they knew their child was growing up “when they no longer wanted to hold my hand”, while another remembered the day their daughter “walked into school without turning back to wave”.
Letting go is rarely easy – but holidays, it seems, take some of the sting out of it. Nearly six in 10 parents (58%) said they feel happier handing their children more freedom while away, and more than three quarters (77%) confessed to loosening the usual rules on holiday, with bedtimes, spending money and screen time first to give.
Children agree, with almost two thirds (63%) saying they feel more independent on holiday – many pointing to the extra chances to try new things, call the shots and shoulder a bit more responsibility.
To mark those milestone moments, TUI has rolled out its My Holiday Firsts Passport, available in selected stores while stocks last, nudging kids to jot down every holiday first – from tasting new foods and making new pals to diving into exciting new adventures.
The Childhood Independence Index: When children believe they should first experience key childhood milestones
Age in years:
- Walking around a holiday resort alone – 7
- Staying at a friend’s house – 8
- Staying out later with friends – 9
- Travelling short distances alone – 9
- Walking to school alone – 10
- Going into a shop alone – 10
- Staying home alone briefly – 10
- Going shopping with friends – 10
- Spending pocket money independently – 10
- Getting a first phone – 10
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