A woman who has spent the last seven years celibate – with no dating, sex or solo pleasure – says it’ll stay that way until she meets her future husband.
Alexis Turner first decided to ditch men for the foreseeable future when she was just 25 years old.
Now 32, she says the benefits of giving up sex and dating have been profound and she hasn’t noticed any real downsides, apart from trolls who share their unwanted opinions.
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Some people call her choice to remain celibate “unnatural” while others ask if something is “wrong” with her.
Alexis says her decision came from a need for spiritual growth and understanding herself better, rather than disappearing into a romance.
“Celibacy has allowed me to explore my beliefs and values more thoroughly,” the freelance graphic and web designer, from Montgomery, Alabama, told What’s The Jam.
“It’s been a way to avoid the potential pitfalls and emotional turbulence that can come with intimate relationships.
“By maintaining this path, I’ve found a unique perspective on what I truly need and want from my connections with others.
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“Currently, I have no plans to break my celibacy pact unless I find myself in a committed relationship that leads to marriage.
“There hasn’t been any downside since becoming celibate.
“It has been more profound if anything.”
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Going against the grain has not been an easy decision with some people’s judgemental views even sparking doubt in Alexis’ mind.
She said: “I’ve heard comments like, ‘You must be missing out on a lot’, which can feel dismissive of my personal choice and experiences.
“Sometimes, I get asked ‘Is something wrong with you?’ which makes me feel like my celibacy is seen as a problem or something that needs fixing.
“Hearing people say that celibacy is ‘unnatural’ can be hurtful, as it suggests my choice is somehow wrong or out of the ordinary, dismissing my values or beliefs.”
Before Alexis chose celibacy, she had been in a few relationships and tried dating apps but was never satisfied with the results.
She said: “Despite the effort I put into online dating, I found that the connections I was looking for didn’t always materialize, and this contributed to my decision to embrace celibacy.”
She is committed to abstaining from all sexual activity, which includes both physical relationships and solo pleasure.
Having previously had a hysterectomy, she also doesn’t want children of her own.
She said: “My focus is more on other aspects of life, and I feel that having children isn’t part of my personal path or goals.
“The hysterectomy means that I’m physically unable to conceive or carry a pregnancy, which aligns with my choice to focus on other aspects of life and personal growth.”
Thankfully, her inner circle back her lifestyle choice.
She said: “My friends and family have been incredibly supportive.
“They respect my decision and often engage in meaningful conversations that reinforce my commitment.
“Their positivity and backing have made my path much more manageable and rewarding.
Alexis is also sharing her celibacy journey online – celebrating seven years solo in May 2024.
She hopes to inspire other women and young girls by sharing the benefits that she has experienced.
Alexis said: “I feel sharing my journey is important for many women and young girls in today’s society, despite it being a taboo topic.
“It can provide a fresh perspective and validate their own choices.
“By sharing my experiences, I hope to inspire and support those who might be contemplating a similar path or seeking validation for their decisions.”
And social media users have come out in droves to share their own experiences, with just one video getting over 11,000 views.
One person said: “Two years and not even urges or anything, it’s a mind thing, I love the self-control I have.”
Someone else said: “14 years strong. Have almost given in a few times but then I remember my worth.”
“Wow you are strong for this,” added Neek.
Another person added: “It’s so nice seeing other women choosing celibacy. Two years for me as well and I feel so much better mentally, physically and spiritually.”
“Congratulations sis! I’m only about 2 months in but it’s so refreshing,” added Nesha.
