A husband and wife who welcomed a third person into their relationship after 20 years say family members thought she was a “gold-digger”.
Rachael Meir, 43, had been married to her husband Aaron, also 43, for almost two decades when Kasey, 33, walked into their lives five years ago.
Despite the haters and raised eyebrows, they held a triad commitment ceremony together in November 2023.
READ MORE: ‘I’m 43 and my partner is 88 – people didn’t approve of our relationship but we couldn’t be happier’
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And now the throuple consider themselves in a three-way marriage, doing everything regular couples do – sharing a bed, following a routine, working, going to concerts and travelling.
Rachael and Aaron met Kasey via Bumble, and after chatting to a few people, Kasey, a customer training manager, was the first woman they decided to meet.
But they admit that it didn’t initially go down too well with friends and family.
“At first there was a lot of shock and even fear,” Rachael, a psychologist from St. Petersburg, Florida, told What’s The Jam.
“We were dropping a big change on them, and people naturally filled in the gaps with their own assumptions.
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“Some common concerns we heard were: Rachael is actually a lesbian and will leave Aaron for Kasey, Kasey is a gold-digger or home-wrecker trying to take Aaron and Rachael’s money or break up their marriage, or Aaron is running off with the younger woman.”
Rachael said they also get comments from people in public and online.
She said: “Some people assume Aaron must be wealthy or exceptionally well-endowed.
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“Others see our relationship as morally or religiously wrong.
“Some mistakenly refer to Kasey and me as ‘sister wives’.
“And many people predict it won’t last.”
But over time, Rachael says their close circle saw their love deepen and began to come to terms with the relationship.
She said: “Most of them have become incredibly supportive.
“Education and open conversations helped break down misconceptions and now they encourage and celebrate our relationship.
“Our bond is just as meaningful and committed.”
Rachael says she and Aaron, a compliance and operations manager, initially explored non-monogamy and opened up their marriage about 15 years ago through the swinging lifestyle.
She said: “Aaron and I were married and chose to open our relationship mostly because of my bisexuality.
“Over time, we transitioned from swinging to polyamory, and after intentionally searching for a triad dynamic, we found that connection with Kasey.“
And Rachael says it’s being in a throuple is not too different from a monogamous relationship.
She said: “There are just three of us instead of two.
“We share a bed, follow a routine that includes going to the gym, working, walking the dog, cooking, doing dishes, watching shows, traveling, going out to eat, attending concerts, you name it.
“One of the biggest advantages is that there’s always someone to engage with.
“If one partner isn’t in the mood for something, it creates an opportunity for the other two to connect without pressure.
“We say it’s always a party, never a crowd.
“We prioritise intentional quality time.
“We rotate our schedule, plus we have a triad date weekly.”
For the throuple, outside judgements don’t make a difference.
Rachael added: “Right now, we’re all on the same page and continue to build our life together as a committed triad.
“We emphasise differentiation of self – meaning we each communicate as individuals with our own identities while also working together to accommodate each other’s autonomy, freedom, and choices.
“And while some family members may not fully get it, they love us and ultimately just want us to be happy.”
