A mum-of-three says she doesn’t think it’s her responsibility to entertain her kids or make them eat healthy food.
Tess Lathey believes “micromanaging” as a parent is counter-intuitive and it’s better to have a more “neutral” approach.
The 30-year-old from Dorset doesn’t come down harshly on her children’s diets and says “How they choose to spend their time is up to them”.
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Even when it comes to screen time, Tess lets them set their own rules.
“I think motherhood can be enjoyed so much more when we don’t micromanage every moment of our day,” Tess, a presenter and trainee mindset coach, told What’s The Jam.
“For example, there are no good or bad foods.
“I encourage that some foods will give us more energy to go about our day but never force it.
“I have always provided healthy options, as well as age appropriate education around healthy foods.
“But I don’t think it’s a parents’ job to force healthy choices onto our children.
“We can mirror those choices and that’s the best way for children to learn.
“We always provide balanced meals but have always adopted a neutral approach to food.”
Tess and her husband are parents to Elin, nine, Ettie, seven, and five-year-old Madalena.
Tess, who has received backlash for her parenting views online, said: “People assume I’m feeding them McDonald’s every night and that’s not what I mean.
“What goes into their body is ultimately their choice though.
“I think as parents we can get so obsessed over making them eat and that’s no fun for any of us.”
Tess also doesn’t believe providing fun or stimulating experiences should be solely a parent’s responsibility.
She said: “I’ve never seen myself as a source of never ending entertainment for our kids.
“Of course I love getting to do stuff with them from days out to games and baking and crafts.
“But they also know that that can’t happen all the time.
”I think it’s healthy to let them get bored, to have to entertain themselves and for them to know that I’m not right around the corner to do it for them.
“How they choose to spend their time is up to them.
“The other day my nine-year-old was very bored as I had work to complete from home.
“In that boredom, she found a recipe book and independently baked something for us.
“She never would’ve done that if I’d leapt up and solved the problem through instant entertainment.”
The mum-of-three also doesn’t put a cap on screen time in her household.
She said: “I let them set their own rules around the use of devices or we come up with rules together.
“That includes no screens at the table, or on school nights, but free access at weekends.
“I think them being involved in setting boundaries really helps them honour them.”
Despite her strong views on parenting norms, Tess says her friends and family have learned to turn a blind eye.
She said: “They don’t care anymore.
“They can see everyone is doing really well and parenting types change so often.
“I do think we surround ourselves with people who think like us, and then online you’re reminded there’s lots of other viewpoints out there too.
“Some people felt passionately that it’s absolutely our job to provide anything and everything for our children as we choose to have them.
“In ways I agree, but I think providing them with a sense of self matters too.”
