‘I’m 31 but people treat me like a child – and it’s all down to THIS one thing’

A woman claims she is treated like a child despite being in her 30s – all because she doesn’t have a partner.

Cheyenne Stone says she is often “infantilised” for being single, with many people treating her differently just because she doesn’t have a partner.

The 31-year-old regularly shares her thoughts and combats misconceptions online after experiencing such behaviour in her daily life.

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“People will treat me like a child, or at least like less of an adult because I am single,” Cheyenne, who is based in Chicago, US, told What’s The Jam.

“However, I pay all of my own bills, I have a successful career, I have fulfilling hobbies, and am part of multiple communities that I can call home.

“But because I haven’t found someone I want to spend my life with, I get seen as younger than others my age.”

Cheyenne, an Executive Recruiter for Private Equity, says she has never been in a long-term or committed relationship, but is “trying to find the right person.”

She added: “I have been seriously hurt in the dating world, but I continue to put myself out there and give people a chance, because I do want to build a life with somebody.

“Being single isn’t a purposeful decision I made, it just worked out like that, but I don’t think I would be the woman I am today if I had not had the opportunity for growth, healing, and reflection, outside of a partnership.

“I found that as I entered my late 20s and early 30s, it became more and more taboo to be single.

“However, being single isn’t some sort of waiting room.

“This is my life, and although I do want a partner one day, that isn’t to say that single people can’t find joy, happiness, and success right here right now.”

Cheyenne says people regularly comment on her ‘singleness’ – something she’d rather them avoid.

She added: “People will say things like, ‘you’re a hot mess but we still love you’, ‘you are too picky and your standards are too high’, or ‘you will find someone when the time is right’.

“I would never comment on someone else’s marriage, so why are they commenting on my relationship status?

“It makes me feel ‘less than’ when people try to give unsolicited advice, or make me feel badly about how my life has played out thus far.”

Turning things on their head, Cheyenne recently shared a list of things she refuses to feel guilty about as a single woman in her 30s, who lives alone.

Things Cheyenne refuses to feel guilty for:

•   Ordering takeout instead of cooking for one again.

•   Not being able to afford every trip, wedding, or celebration.

•   Going through periods of not wanting to date. Dating burnout is real.

•   Walking away from almost-love.

•   Structuring my scheduling around my own needs. When you are doing it all alone, you must prioritise

•   Being in her 30s and still figuring it out.

Cheyenne added: “I refuse to feel guilty for these things because our world is made for coupled adults, not single adults.

“Everything from taxes and finances to places to live to food to eat.

“So as single people, sometimes we have to do things differently than others who are in a relationship, and that’s okay.

“We have to bend society’s rules sometimes to fit our own needs, wants, and desires, and I refuse to feel guilty for living my life in a way that is healthy for me.”

Cheyenne says there are plenty of challenges that come with being a single woman living alone – the “most obvious” being finances.

She said: “I am constantly budgeting and trying to figure out how to cut costs – especially with the way prices have risen over the last few years.

“But at the end of the day, funding the entirety of my life is one of the things I am most proud of.”

She added: “Another challenge is that I can’t always participate in conversations the same way my friends can.

“I haven’t been engaged, married, trying for children, or pregnant, and those are the things that dominate conversations in your late 20s and early 30s.

“I distinctly remember one gathering with a group of women, I was probably 28 at the time, and I went the entire evening without anyone asking me a question or for my opinion, and when I finally had the confidence to contribute to the conversation, I was interrupted left and right.

“It would be great if society could value the other amazing things women are doing outside of getting married and having babies.”

However, Cheyenne says there are some up-sides to being single too.

She added: “I have had the amazing opportunity to create a life I want, and to grow into the woman I want to be.

“Since moving in alone, I have seen my confidence soar.

“I am a different person than I was five years ago, because I have embraced all of the ups and downs that come with the lifestyle I live.

“I am beyond proud of myself, and I want to inspire other single women to be proud of themselves as well.”

Cheyenne’s advice to other women in a similar situation? Remember that there’s more than one path in life – and it can be beautiful.

Cheyenne is currently creating a TikTok series dedicated to encouraging others to “do things now” rather than holding off and potentially missing out.

She added: “It’s a way to hold myself accountable to getting things off of my bucket list rather than saying, ‘well I can do that with a partner one day’.

“Tomorrow isn’t promised, so do the thing today.

“Whatever that thing is, don’t let it sit in a note in your phone – get out into the world and do it.”

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